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Let's laugh a little bit

الموضوع في 'English & French Archive' بواسطة Abuyassine, بتاريخ ‏11 جويلية 2008.

حالة الموضوع:
مغلق
  1. Abuyassine

    Abuyassine كبار الشخصيات

    إنضم إلينا في:
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      11-07-2008 15:36
    Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
    Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

    ********


    Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
    Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
    Customer : No, I can't.
    Waiter : Then does it really matter?

    ********


    Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
    Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.


    ********

    Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
    Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

    ********


    Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
    Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

    ********


    Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
    Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.


    ********

    Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
    Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

    ********


    Lady : Is this my train?
    Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
    Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
    This train to New Delhi.
    Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

    ********

    Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
    Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
    The game went into extra time.

    ********


    Wife : Do you want dinner?
    Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
    Wife : Yes and no.


    ********


    A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
    Commotion in the gallery.
    The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
    The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have
    A scotch and soda."

    ********


    Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in
    Two days time?
    Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
    Customer : I bet you, it won't.
    Post Master : Why not?
    Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

    ********


    An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
    'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
    'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
    'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

    ********



    1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
    2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
    1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

    ********


    Man : How old is your father?
    Boy : As old as me.
    Man : How can that be?
    Boy : He became a father only when I was born.


    ********

    Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
    Field"
    Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
    Teacher : How?
    Student : Ladies first.
     
    3 شخص معجب بهذا.
  2. hassouma3

    hassouma3 عضو

    إنضم إلينا في:
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      11-07-2008 15:47
    thank you brother :kiss:
     
    2 شخص معجب بهذا.
  3. tayaa-mtb

    tayaa-mtb نجم المنتدى

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      11-07-2008 18:28
    funny :lol::lol: thank u
     
    2 شخص معجب بهذا.
  4. helmic

    helmic عضو جديد

    إنضم إلينا في:
    ‏24 فيفري 2008
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      13-07-2008 17:03
    Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a
    conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and
    watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three
    people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch
    and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The
    accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram
    into a restroom and close the door behind them.
    Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
    collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket,
    please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a
    ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants
    saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the
    conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return
    trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). When they
    get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To
    their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are
    you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.
    "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train
    the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers
    cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward,
    one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the
    restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and
    says, "Ticket, please."
     
    2 شخص معجب بهذا.
  5. Abuyassine

    Abuyassine كبار الشخصيات

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      13-07-2008 17:16
    Very intelligent engineers.....Stupid accountants:bang::bang:..A funny joke..Thanks for that
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. sniper_tun

    sniper_tun عضو فعال

    إنضم إلينا في:
    ‏4 ماي 2008
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      13-07-2008 19:43
    ***


    During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

    The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

    The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

    "I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

    The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

    "Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

    "Like what?" asked the bartender.

    "Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

    The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

    So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

    "I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

    The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

    "Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

    "That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

    With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

    The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

    The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

    The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

    The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!":156:
     
    2 شخص معجب بهذا.
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