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Man is not needed to make your wishes come true, only god is

الموضوع في 'English & French discussion' بواسطة آمنة مقني, بتاريخ ‏9 جانفي 2018.

  1. آمنة مقني

    آمنة مقني عضو فعال

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    715
      09-01-2018 23:07
    Whenever someone says that he wants to be a part of my life , i feel he is causing me troubles . mom wouldn't agree for me to be with just anyone , he has to be super rich to be agreed on and i hate that . all i need is to feel loved and in a good company . all i wanted is a strong and smart guy , i wouldn't need him to be super rich but i understand why mom is making that condition. she knows that life is hard without money and she was deprived from the minimum luxury in this world so she wants me to have all what she never had. for that i will respond to her wishes and be alone . i will make a fortune by depriving myself and saving and buying her everything she was once deprived off and when i see her happy, i will whisper to her : man is not needed to make your wishes come true, only god is.
     
    Bolshoi Booze, hamdouchi38, nadhmi23 و 1 شخص آخر معجبون بهذا.
  2. نعيم تونسي

    نعيم تونسي عضو مميز

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      09-01-2018 23:19
    Your mum is a wise lady. She has more experience, more bad memories, more sleepless nights... You can't just think you solved the whole problem simply by doing what you think is right... By the way love is a a lousy relation builder. You do have all the right to choose a partner , choose some one who respect you... That s what matter​
     
    hamdouchi38 و آمنة مقني معجبون بهذا.
  3. آمنة مقني

    آمنة مقني عضو فعال

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      09-01-2018 23:37
    thank you for complementing my mom . but i am fighting the whole belief that a man is made to pay . well given the fact that woman takes care the house and children and working in mean while , we expect the man to pay,that is true . but what if we have a different view ? that i will make mom happy , i don't need my future -if he occurs- husband's money to do that ! i am a student , paying my own tuition hamdulah , am i married?, do i have have a rich boyfriend ? NO. i am just a strong woman who wants to be financially independent and make her family happy and for my own peace i am gonna remain alone because each time i suggest the idea of someone to mom she says he has to buy me a house and have a luxurious car ?????????? why is that a necessity , is she gonna live with him ? her happiness is my responsibility not his.she can tell me that i have to become rich but she doesn't have to make a condition on my partner ... just being alone would save me tremendous discussions with her . and i do agree with you , respect is number one condition .
     
    hamdouchi38 و FrenchMontana معجبون بهذا.
  4. bousbata

    bousbata عضو فعال

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      13-01-2018 21:08
    the common sense in our country is that man is responsible to provide the financial sources for his family, while the wife has a limited role , take care of kids and house.
    this primitive way of thinking is just making my headache more intense.
    in my opinion, i believe a women should build her career (professional), after finishing her studies, then she will be mature, enough, to be the perfect partner.
    at this point she becomes more productive, and smartly independent, in the sense she can participate the development of her family.
    however, still our society reluctant to change idiologicly :///////
     
    hamdouchi38 و آمنة مقني معجبون بهذا.
  5. Snaky

    Snaky نجم المنتدى

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      13-01-2018 21:51
    The first word that i read in the title was "god" so i assumed that it was some sort of compartive religions topic (my fingers starts itching hehehe, i'm known to be an infidel around here, and i had to live up to my reputation)

    I think that i can contribute to this topic as well, i've been thinking about this theme for years (from academic perspective), and lately, it became personal (long story)

    Your mom is choosing the most secure path, I always tell my friends that they should always keep in mind that their familes believe that they are doing the right thing for them even when it doesn't seem to be the case. The world is evolving fast, and sadly the parents experience is mostly obselete, i will explain why..

    I'll go little abstract right now, and try to make some analogies in order to pack as much informations as i can in the next few lines in an understandble way to non experts.

    Imagine that we have attractivness points,, with 100 being the most attractive person that ever lived, people generally looking for mates with comparable attractivness points, for men staus and wealth (access to resources) makes the bulk of it, for women it's beauty (by that i mean it in evolutionnary psychological context) and age (in shorter words, fertiliy), we subconsiouly are looking for those traits even if we don't admit it, our subconcious knows that, it gives an approximative market value in the mating market to us and to every potential partner that we meet, large parts of how this works are known are heavilly studied in the last 30 years, it's generally a boring topic, but i can give you some links if u're interested.

    So :p back to you problem, as any subconcious that respects itself, yours knows that ur "market value" isn't 100, u can't get all the traits that you want because individuals who poses them are looking for partners that are similar in the attractivness scale. Your personal prefrences valued intelligence, strength, and from ur post i'm assuming that emotional intelligence is a must (knowing when to be left alone, talked to, reassured etc....), so u must compremise on the financial front :D

    I'm by your side, assuming that u really know what, i think that it's the right thing to do, taking into consideration that the guy/girl rly worth it, which is usually hard to forsee

    One before last point, the being rich part, i wouldn't count on it much, people loses their fortune the whole time, specially if they inhritend it, and this tends only to get worst giving the accelrating paste of technological advancement, i m studying computer science and studied artificial intelligence and i know what i'm talking about :D
    getting rich from scratch and all that 'greatness from small begenings' thing will get much harder

    The last point is that i'm personally facing a similar dilemma (my gf at least), that's what encouraged me to try and give you some insight from my experience

    Good luck whatever you do, and excuse my gramma mistakes since didn't have any formal english education beyond the one given by goverenment, not to mention the fact that i study most of the time in german :(
     
  6. آمنة مقني

    آمنة مقني عضو فعال

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    715
      14-01-2018 19:35
    deleted sorry thanks for replying ;)
     
    آخر تعديل: ‏15 جانفي 2018
  7. Snaky

    Snaky نجم المنتدى

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      15-01-2018 18:43
    i partially read ur reply, but i was at university
    it seemed that it would take me some time to reply to it, so i decided to do it when i get home
    then i got influenza the whole weekend :D
    now when i'm in perfect health again, the reply isn't there

    :(
     
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  8. آمنة مقني

    آمنة مقني عضو فعال

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      16-01-2018 11:56
    i hope you heal soon :D let's discuss it in private some day lol
     
    أعجب بهذه المشاركة Snaky
  9. Snaky

    Snaky نجم المنتدى

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      16-01-2018 20:53
    there is an article that i promissed to write in the forum over a year ago about this very subject
    i'm still planning to deliver
    the thing is, writing article with good content and making sure that all your informations are up to date takes a lot of time
    i'm studied at a technical university (TU), with no veccations (i study 11 months per year) which means i almost have no time for such activity

    If everything goes fine, it should be published in the forum in early may, when i'm done with all my exams


    someday we might discuss it privatly if you found my perspective to be interesting :D

    Best regards
     
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  10. آمنة مقني

    آمنة مقني عضو فعال

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    715
      16-01-2018 23:12
    in TUM ? wow . may allah be with you :D
    I will write about it using she instead of i لتضليل الرأي العام هههه
     
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